I’m falling back into the ever so consistent phase of not wanting anything to do with the world. Well, I usually dislike the world anyways, but more so recently. When too many people lie at the same time, I can’t take it. When too many calls for help are ignored, I can’t take it. When too many emotions strangle each other and end up blocking air, I can’t take it.
Or I can. I just choose not to. I don’t want to be responsible for handling this while I try to stay sane. Because, that, fellow humans, is nearly impossible. So I sleep it off, which is becoming more and more soothing day by day as the weather is cooling down and the comfort that I have beneath the warm sheets is hard to bare without. I like shutting out the world to an extent. To a very large extent. Monsters still know how to get to doors of my mind when eyes are closed and ears stay ignorant. I never really wanted to be noticed and my heart wasn’t made to notice others. My hands stay cold and no one’s really stayed around long enough for me to let them warm the exterior of cold skin after the constant rejection. It’s fine though. I want my hands barely mobile, so I can do what I want to do underneath heavy stones. I’m not a people person so company is never necessary. Many like to say that I’m not a person at all, but that’s just a tad bit too far. All I know is that as of now, I am barely interested in life. But that’s pretty human-like, so I guess nothing’s wrong.