I have tried so many times, so many effort filled attempts to relieve myself of this guilt I have developed towards you, but none of them have pulled through. It's been fail after fail and I'm now tired. I feel like I'm hoping for something as close as a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but I've been snapped back to reality. There's been a realization that at the end of the rainbow, there is nothing. It's all just my imagination, what I'm hoping for, what I want. I want to forget my past mistakes and stumbles, I want you to know that. Is that hard for you take my unspoken words into consideration? Can you not seeing what I'm trying to make you understand? I want to be your friend again, I want what was, to become what is. I need you as my bestfriend again, I need one more than ever right now