I can't do it anymore

I just can't keep pretending like there's nothing I feel towards you. It hurts too much to bottle everything up. Your every word and every genuine smile make the hairs of my neck stand up. Your every touch, and even seeing or hearing your name gives such penetration through my body, where the butterflies flutter uncontrollably as my heart pumps the circulation of my blood so hard, so hard it could beat out of my chest. My toes and fingertips turn cold when races of thoughts of you end my night in bliss. You make me smile, make me happy just like this. I'm all smitten for you. I don't know if I'm in love you. I haven't quite grasped the meaning of it all. But sometimes you make me think that you are the definition. And that's the thing, I'm not ready to love. I'm so trapped in my own insecurities and problems to expect something from you. You are the biggest contradiction in my life thus far. You make me giddy and I can hardly sustain such eye contact with you as my cheeks begin to flame in bright blush, but you're also the biggest pain. I'm unsure of the decision I'm willing to take, but I do know that you need to know. I need to express everything, pour my heart and soul at you to make you understand.